Probe Looks into Cheney Going to New Orleans
to Scare Remaining Residents

By Jonathan Garrett
NEW ORLEANS - A Justice Department probe is looking into President Bush's sending of Vice President, Richard Cheney, to the hurricane-embattled city of New Orleans in an attempt to convince remaining residents that they must evacuate the city.

The Justice Department began its interviews after reports surfaced of the plan to use Cheney's visit as a psychological tool for evacuating residents.

"There's no one in this administration more terrifying than Dick Cheney," said Mr. Bush. "I'm confident that his presence in New Orleans will convince residents that remaining in the city is simply unthinkable."

New Orleans Mayor, Ray Nagin, welcomed the announcement.

In a press conference this morning Nagin stated that "Dick Cheney is even more toxic than the flood waters. You put him in a flatboat and motor him around the city-people are gonna want to get the hell out."

Congressional leaders also applauded the move, although some Democrats fumed that Cheney should have been sent to New Orleans sooner.

"Why wasn't Cheney sent to New Orleans before Katrina came ashore?" questioned Massachusettes senator, Ted Kennedy. "Had he been there, I'm convinced that state and local authorities would have worked overtime to get every resident out of harm's way."

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