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Common
Sense Dies Unnoticed
Author
Unknown
Today we mourn the passing of an old friend, Common Sense. Common Sense
lived a long life, but died in the United States from heart failure
early
in the new millennium. No one really knows how old he was, since his
birth
records were lost long ago in bureaucratic red tape. He selflessly devoted
his life to service in schools, hospitals, homes, and factories, helping
folks get jobs done without fanfare and foolishness.
For decades, petty
rules, silly laws, and frivolous lawsuits held no power
over Common Sense. He was credited with cultivating such valued lessons
asto know when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the
worm,
and that life isn't always fair.
Common Sense lived
by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more
than you earn), reliable parenting strategies (the adults are in charge,
not the kids), and it's okay to come in second. A veteran of the
Industrial Revolution, the Great Depression, and the Technological
Revolution, Common Sense survived cultural and educational trends
including body piercing, whole language, and "new math." But
his health
declined when he became infected with the "If-it-only-helps-one-person-it's-worth-it"
virus.
In recent decades
his waning strength proved no match for the ravages of
well intentioned but overbearing regulations. He watched in pain as
good
people became ruled by self-seeking lawyers. His health rapidly
deteriorated when schools endlessly implemented zero tolerance policies.
Reports of a six-year-old
boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a
classmate, a teen suspended for taking a swig of mouthwash after lunch,
and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened
his
condition. It declined even further when schools had to get parental
consent to administer aspirin to a student but could not inform the
parent
when a female student was pregnant or wanted an abortion.
Common Sense lost
his will to live as the Ten Commandments became
contraband, churches became businesses, criminals received better
treatment than victims, and federal judges stuck their noses in everything
from the Boy Scouts to professional sports.
When an individual,
too stupid to realize that a steaming cup of coffee
was hot, was awarded a huge settlement, Common Sense threw in the towel.
As the end neared, Common Sense drifted in and out of logic but was
kept
informed of developments regarding questionable regulations such as
those
for low flow toilets, rocking chairs, stepladders and auto emissions.
Common Sense finally
succumbed when, while the United States was fighting a war on terrorism,
a federal judge declared the Pledge of Allegiance to
be unconstitutional.
Common Sense was
preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his
wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.
He is
survived by two stepsiblings: My Rights, and Ima Whiner.
Not many attended
his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
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