New Program: IDIOTS Takes Intelligent
Design into Schools

By Nick Ulmer
Washington -- As the battle between Intelligent Design and evolution rages on, the Bush administration announced a new program this week to promote the notion that Intelligent Design should be taught in America's classrooms. The initiative, titled, Intelligent Design's Inclusion in Origins Teachings in School (IDIOTS), has been met with some controversy. According to IDIOTS, life is too complex for the theory of evolution to be plausible - rather, an "Intelligent Designer" created life - therefore this should be taught in school. And despite the theory not being technically based in science , proponents and IDIOTS alike maintain it should be taught in science class alongside Darwin's theory of evolution.

But proponents argue that the completely secular-sounding theory of Intelligent Design has absolutely nothing to do with religion - that the Intelligent Designer could be any sort of higher power . Many scientists refuse to address the issue, claiming that even acknowledging it as a scientific discussion would give it too much merit. And if IDIOTS cared what "scientists" thought, this might be an issue, but luckily, they don't.

When questioned about the program at a press conference this morning, Bush elaborated that he and IDIOTS are planning to look into other scientific issues in the classroom as well. "For example," he commented, "the word, 'decompose,' that's in all the science books these days…we think there might be a better alternative to that - something that's not quite so morbid. "Ascends into heaven is something we're looking at."

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