Kauai Honeymooners Want to Help Police Searches—Start Nonprofit

By David Reagan
Portland, OREGON - Sitting on Ke'e Beach on the Island of Kauai ten weeks ago, Bob and Cindi Shirley recognized how lucky they are. They'd been married three days before, and Bob, a successful lawyer with a small business co-op as is main client, had arranged for an elaborate trip to the Hawaiian Islands. The couple held the ceremony Sunday afternoon, standing barefoot on the beach, surrounded by their friends and family while a cool ocean breeze tempered the warm, tropical afternoon. That day will always be their anniversary, a reminder to them to look back and appreciate what they share. September 11th, 2005.

"Something we'll be celebrating for decades to come," Bob said. He sat in a leather lazy boy, while his wife reclined on a one-armed loveseat.

"But at the same time, we know it is meant to be something of a somber occasion," Cindi said. "It struck me as we sat on the beach, our knees almost touching -- open our house to the police, make their job of rooting out terrorists that much easier by showing we have," here she smiled, "nothing to hide."

Bob sat straighter in his chair. "The idea was so amazing I promptly went back to my room and starting drawing up the papers. I spent all night writing the boilerplates, available for download at

nothingtohideaprivateorganizationdedicatedtotheeradicationofterrorists.com

Anyone can print them off and file them with their local police. I know Cindi had a pretty restless night as well, but she called the hotel's masseuse to help her out. He must have had magic hands, because when I saw him coming from her room early that morning, he whispered, 'She is very relaxed right now,' and Cindi was glowing."

When they returned from their honeymoon, the couple completed the nonprofit paperwork needed to launch Nothing to Hide and started spreading their message.

"I've made it very clear that my home is always open to any form of police intrusion, from a quick run-through to a full scale inspection," Bob said. "My wife believes the same thing, or we wouldn't have been attracted to one another, despite our age differences."

"Oh, no, I don't mind in the slightest. It makes me feel good to know that there are strong, virile, young men in uniform, ready for action at a moment's notice, nearby," Cindi said. "Like when I'm in the shower -- I can relax and truly enjoy the sensation of getting clean when one of Portand's finest is in the house. It feels good to be safe from any intruders."

At this point, Bob spoke up. "I keep a close watch on my neck of the woods, and my neighbors are an important element. They assure me the officers come out of my house with their hair and uniforms tousled, so I know they are doing a thorough job."

The organization hasn't achieved the kind of success the couple had hoped for. Bob admitted that most of the emails have been negative. "People are going to have to make adjustments if they want to be safe. Cindi and I think we have a way to make us all more secure."

He added, "On the bright side, Cindi has recently been receiving invitations to attend some police conventions as a featured speaker, so it seems like the message is getting across."

" The conventions are fun. I do a lot of private, one-on-one interviews with officers staying at the hotel, along with the occasional two officers at once. It gives me a chance to spread my message," she said.

There is a knock at the door, which Bob went to investigate. He returned with a Portland police officer. "Cindy, darling, the officer is here to do a random strip search. Do you mind terribly?"

Cindi rose from her couch. "It is a small price to pay for freedom." She escorted him into the bedroom for the search. "This might take a while," she called. The sound of the bedroom's lock clicking followed.

When asked if he is worried about his wife, locked in the room with a policeman, Bob laughed.

"Not in slightest. She's a good American. She's been searched like this fifty times, and they've never once found a thing. No matter how thorough they are, they never will. We have nothing to hide."

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