Weather

An eastern Canadian cold front blew into New England that iced power lines and caused loss of power to every home that is supporting drilling for oil in the Arctic Wildlife Refuge. Power company officials could not account for why some homes were left powerless while others continued to merrily wink with Christmas lights and cheer.

Santa Clause was spotted at the North Pole with Rayban sun glasses on and in a pair of Rave swim trunks next to an Olympic-sized pool created from melting polar ice as the greenhouse effect is heating up the northern climes.

High temperature across the US was in Crawford, Texas, 112 degrees: inside the Bush ranch house where first lady Laura Bush was hotly scolding George for forgetting to take off his cowboy boots (with silver spurs) and Colt six-gun before coming into the living room.

Kansas was hit by snowball size hail in a freak storm that lasted three hours. About 10 million cars had dented rooftops and lines outside body repair shops stretched for miles.

A thermal inversion layer settled over Los Angeles creating an instant fog of smog from car exhaust that put to sleep the entire upper floors of all the record companies.

The sun came out in New York City today, creating a halo of saintliness around Mayor Bloomberg as the mass transit strike ended and transit workers agreed to return to work with small gains.

Several dozen bison at Yellowstone Park were seen hitting the geysers for piping hot showers to beat the sudden drop in temperature from -10 to -30 degrees.

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