Halliburton Corp. Starts Up New Travel Venture for Vacationing While Interned

By Paul Springer
Thanks to a double leveraged buyout of Carnival Cruise Lines and Service Corporation International, the Halliburton Corporation has expanded its already diverse operations into vacation preparation and pre-need burial planning-at the same time.

Vacations and funeral are both expensive, and many people have to compromise because they can't afford the best of both worlds. As a result, a glorious month in the Greek isles can mean eternity spent in an old coffee can by the ninth fairway, or splurging for an impressive funeral and distinctive monument can just as well entail a lifetime of cut-rate vacations requiring attendance at any number of declasse time share pitches.

Halliburton's new venture, incorporated as Last Buy, provides a more felicitous compromise: your remains spend most of their time in a low-cost self-storage cubicle, but for two glorious weeks of the year they can explore the Adriatic, visit Disney World, tour Europe on the Orient Express, or go bungee jumping over the Snake River.

Vice-president Dick Cheney, formerly CEO of Halliburton, said the dual merger was unusal but made a lot of sense. "Halliburton's operations in Iraq, especially Kellogg Root Browns, certainly created a serious need for tasteful and economic burial services. And I for one could certainly use another vacation at this point."

Members of the armed forces will receive a two-percent discount on Last Buy services, and the firm also offers convenient group and family packages. Deep discounts are readily available to those who aren't squeamish about having their remains spend eternity close to others in what a company spokesman described as a "festive tour bus atmosphere."

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